Protect your magic with all the strength you can muster. In a world constantly trying to change your compelling uniqueness, stay connected to the parts of yourself that contain wisdom, creativity, innocence, imagination and courage. Never let anyone tame your wild heart or tell you how to live your life. You are extraordinarily perfect just the way you are. I’ve learned that conformity causes so much of the heartache and anguish we experience in our lifetime. You are the only person who knows what is good for your heart and soul. Trust your intuition and celebrate your wild beauty.

Years ago, I vowed to make personal growth my priority, regardless of the price I paid. Growth, for me, is not about getting ahead or proving myself to anyone else. It’s about learning the lessons I’m here to learn and becoming increasingly aware of my actions. I am a student of life and will continue to be as long as I walk this earth. I am still discovering ways to better my being, heal my heart and cultivate awareness. Each day presents me with an opportunity to show up and honor my true self. Here are a few of my favorite and most valuable revelations:

Honor Your Creativity
We are born to be imaginative creatures, and yet, somewhere along the way, our creativity is dismissed as insignificant while we make formal education, financial security and structure our primary concern. Explore your creative side by learning how to express yourself passionately and artistically. Learn something new about yourself and discover your passion through painting, sculpting, singing, playing an instrument, dancing, pottery, knitting, photography or writing.

Learn To Love Yourself
I use the word “learn” because very few people are actually taught how to unconditionally love their essence. As children, many of us received the message that we are worthy of love only if we are good, obey the rules (regardless of their value) and make our parents and community proud. You are not here to make others proud of you, nor does true love need a reason to exist. You are worthy of love right now. When you learn this, you will be at peace with yourself and you will no longer be affected by what others think of you.

Heal Your Wounds
We are all hurting on the inside and yearn for relief from the pain. We do everything in our power to avoid the ache by either running from it (my favorite escape) or numbing out (through medication, drugs, sex, gambling, shopping, drama, constant chaos, etc.) to feel less miserable. Deep-seated trauma and past torment produce anger, hatred, bitterness, self-loathing and isolation, preventing us from feeling the love present in our hearts. Until we heal our wounds, we are unable to fully love ourselves and share love with others. Make a commitment to look at your issues smack dab in the eyes and deal with them straightforwardly so you can live a life of understanding, compassion and delight.

Be Your Own Guru
No person on this earth knows what you need more than you do, so don’t allow others to have control over you and your choices. You don’t need a teacher, preacher or guru dictating your life. You only need to get still and quiet long enough to listen to the voice of honesty and compassion that resides within you. You possess the answers to your every question. Trust your intuition and be your own guide.

Give Without Expectation
If someone has ever handed you a “favor” with the intention of receiving something in return, you quickly learned the difference between a gift and psychological manipulation. If you choose to give, give freely and from the heart. If you are not capable of giving without expectation, it’s best to not give at all.

Respect Your Body
The human body is a beautiful, living, breathing phenomenon intelligently designed by nature. It accompanies us from the moment we arrive on earth until the day we leave this planet. Your body is yours and yours alone. Get to know it in its entirety. Stay strong and healthy with nourishing whole foods and daily movement (yoga, dancing, hiking, biking, skating or swimming). Practice safe, meaningful sex with someone who listens to your needs, honors your body and treats you with respect inside and outside of the bedroom. Become comfortable in your own skin, wear what you want to wear and pay no mind to the way others perceive you. Deliberately love every curve, nook and cranny of your gorgeous body.

Be With People You Trust
Relationships are a huge part of our lives and have the power to affect us positively or negatively on many levels. Surround yourself with people who genuinely have your back 100% of the time. Spend time with people who nourish your spirit, protect your heart and meet you where you are. Cut out any person from your life who brings you down or depletes your energy. Life is too short to hang out with mean-spirited individuals. The people in your life should lift you up, inspire you to be your best and celebrate your eccentricities. Love heals, so create your soul tribe with kindred souls and love them fiercely.

Listen To Children
If you want to make the world a better place, treasure the children on this earth. It is our responsibility as adults to love all the children. While guiding them through youth, give them plenty of space to explore the world instead of brainwashing them with dogmatic beliefs. They need to be loved, not controlled. Build their confidence, protect their innocence and honor their intuition by giving them a voice of their own. Allow each child to express his or her feelings through words and respect what they have to say. They are wise beyond their years and we have a lot to learn from their insight.

Learn To Let Go
Have the courage to walk away from any person or situation that does not serve your highest good. There is always something better waiting for you around the corner.

Be Honest
Honesty is always the best policy. I’ve heard many people argue with this statement and give reasons for hiding the truth or telling lies to excuse their behavior. Deceit and dishonesty are signs of weakness. Become so boldly honest with yourself that you have no qualms about telling the truth to those around you.

Know Your Worth
If you want someone to know your worth, you must first learn it yourself. Teach people how to treat you by treating yourself with the respect you deserve and accepting nothing less from others.

Set Boundaries
If you give without first taking care of yourself, you will become depleted. Nobody wins that game. Put your needs first and learn how to say no. When you nourish yourself first, you become so full of love that it will spill over onto everyone around you without any effort.

Solitude Is Your Friend
A few years ago, a friend of mine asked me my secret to health. I had only one answer: solitude. Solitude has given me access to more wisdom than any teacher, preacher, book or class I’ve ever encountered. The majority of my healing has transpired during time alone. I often spend days at a time retreating in solitude and silence as an opportunity to listen to my needs and understand how I truly feel without being tainted by external influence. Spend time alone and discover your magic.

Give Yourself Permission To Feel
You are not a robot. You are a human being made of real emotion. You don’t need to hold it together and pretend everything is fine all the time. You don’t need to put on a mask to hide your feelings for the sake of others’ comfort. It’s ok to fall apart. It’s ok to cry. Honoring your emotions is a sign of strength and bravery. Rejecting your feelings will not make them go away, but will only escalate the turmoil and confusion. Emotions show up in our lives for a reason so don’t push them away. Listen to their message. Sadness, anger and depression often serve as reminders that we need to re-evaluate a situation or change something in our lives. Take time out to respect your feelings and better understand your grief. Then you can make choices from a place of clarity and empathy.

Follow Your Own Way
The most valuable lesson I’ve learned in this life is to march to the beat of my own drum. I started questioning my environment and the choices being made by those around me at a very early age. Conforming to traditional beliefs and behavior always felt wrong and dishonest. It took me a long time to truly shed the expectations held for me by society, but it was by far the most rewarding and best decision I’ve ever made. Question everything you’ve been taught, no matter how many people are telling you it is gospel. Stop trying to fit in, abandon popularity and pave your own path. You need nobody’s approval but your own.

Trust the Timing of Your Life
Every person is on a path unique to his or her needs, abilities, strengths and passion. Just because you are not moving at the same pace someone else is moving, doesn’t mean you are behind. There are no winners or losers in this thing called life, so move to your own rhythm and drop the expectations.

Sleep
Get sufficient amounts of sleep. It makes everything better.

Stand Up For The Innocent
Throughout the years, I’ve witnessed unfathomable abuse, hatred and oppression. Cruelty and manipulation of any kind is unacceptable and can induce damage that lasts a lifetime. Have the courage to stand up to bullies, even when standing up to bullies does not score you points with onlookers. Those who promote abuse and control will do their best to silence and punish you for calling them out on their bullshit. But protecting those who are too scared or incapable of protecting themselves is always the right thing to do. You will never regret it, I promise.

For those of us who are healing past wounds and working through trauma no human being on this earth should ever have to endure, you are not alone. There is an entire tribe fighting the same fight, searching for inevitable answers, breaking ingrained patterns of destruction, dying to archaic ways of living and learning how to walk again in a self-created, love-filled, honesty-based world.

Once you step onto the path of truth, you will face challenges heavy enough to take you down in one fell swoop, but they won’t. You will be handed temptation after temptation to turn back and run toward comforts of the life you once knew, but you don’t. Instead, you find a sublime strength inside you never knew existed and you use it to take the next step, and the next, and the millions of seemingly impossible steps after that. You will travel miles and miles in solitude, discovering who you are and what you want. Those who truly love you will be cheering you on and encouraging you to persevere, knowing the real treasure is the growth that takes place during a long, treacherous trek through rugged terrain and haunting fields of self-inquiry. You are never really alone, but you, yourself, must brave the crooked, unpredictable path you’ve set out to finish.

Radical change doesn’t happen overnight and deep healing takes time. There is no quick fix. There is no person, place or thing that can cure what ails you. Years of arduous work and self-examination are required to understand what you need to be at peace with yourself in this lifetime. Nobody can give you peace or answer the questions for you. You must do the work on your own, arranging the poignant puzzle pieces of your life, one by one. Gradually, you become yourself.

When you stay true to your heart and soul with an undying determination, the journey you are on does get easier, not because hardship disappears, but because you will know yourself enough to make choices that serve your highest good. Decisions are now made from a place of love and respect for yourself. You know your worth and you won’t settle for less than you deserve. You begin to weed out the imbalanced, toxic relationships in your life and cherish the people who want to love you. You find your true place in the world and finally open your eyes to the beauty that surrounds you. You attract kindred spirits, also known as your soul tribe. Most importantly, buried underneath the muck, you unearth the magic that resides within. You choose to love and be loved, because you know in your heart of hearts, that is the reason we are really here.

During my early twenties, browsing through the self-help section at the bookstore became one of my favorite pastimes. I would lose track of time in those cozy aisles while reading passages of ancient wisdom that deeply resonated with me. Over the years, I have found a few gems that speak my language and offer guidance on the spiritual path. I’m sharing with you some of my favorite books that have impacted my journey immensely.

1. Freedom From The Known by J. Krishnamurti – This book changed my life. I was introduced to the works of Krishnamurti in 2002 when I attended my first yoga teacher training at White Lotus Foundation. This man blew my mind with his non-dogmatic fearlessness to question everything society accepts as the norm. When I first read his teachings, I thought to myself, “Who is this man?” He is so incredibly bold and insightful. Krishnamurti spent a lifetime studying his own behavior and sharing his findings with the world. More importantly, he encourages each and every person to discover his or her own unique path and walk it with courage. His freedom-based wisdom inspired me to question everything I had been taught and begin living from a place of truth.

2. Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser – I read this beautifully written biography last summer, a few months after I completed a spiritual death and rebirth. Lesser, co-founder of Omega Institute, openly and honestly shares her story of hard-earned lessons, transformational choices and the beauty found in every experience regardless of the heartache it presents. I was deeply moved by this book. It came into my life at the perfect moment and evoked a wide range of compassion and understanding toward self.

3. It’s Up To You by Dzigar Kongrul – I began studying Buddhism 14 years ago. The philosophy is rooted in love and teaches the importance of awareness and clear seeing. Only when we see things as they are, without using control or manipulation for our gain, can we be free. This book is an inspiring guide on the spiritual path, encouraging us to connect with our inner nature and rise above ego.

4. Tao Te Ching by Stephen Mitchell – I remember when I first got my hands on the Tao Te Ching. Every word resonated with me and I felt like I was holding a masterpiece. The Tao is an ancient manual on the art of living that teaches simplicity throughout its eighty-one brief chapters. I kept this book on my bedside table for years and reached for it when I needed words of wisdom to get me through the day. Every time I pick it up, I immediately feel a sense of calm. It’s a constant companion in my life.

5. Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Christiane Northrup – A friend of mine turned me on to this book in 1999 and I still own the same copy I bought all those years ago. Northrup is such a brave, brilliant pioneer who encourages women to listen to our bodies and trust our intuition, rather than buying into the idea that we need answers from outside sources. She explains why understanding the root of the problem is much more important than taking a pill to mask the symptoms. She also discusses how physical ailments stem from turmoil in the mind, heart and soul. This is a great guide for women who want to explore self-healing and take their health into their own hands.

6. A Life Worth Breathing by Max Strom – This book was a gift from a dear student and friend. I read it in February 2014 while spending a month of solitude in the Colorado mountains. It was one of the most soul-awakening four weeks of my life and Strom’s message played a huge role in my transformation. His story is fascinating and he has a gift for delivering his wisdom through the written word. “Taking off our armor means to expose and reveal our spiritual heart. When we first do this we feel extremely vulnerable – and for a human being to choose to become vulnerable is a big step in our growth. We need to take off our armor long enough to see our own wounds, so then, once recognized, we can begin to heal them.” 

7. Way of The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman – This was the very first book I read about tending to the inner life. I was 22 years old when a very close friend and kindred spirit placed the life-changing book into my hands. It was such a powerful and welcome addition to my chaotic and unstable world. I recommend this book for young people or anyone who wants an introductory dose of spirit food.

8. Taoist Meditation by Thomas Cleary – I’ve highlighted sentences on just about every page of this book. It is a translation of classic Taoist texts and contains methods for cultivating a healthy mind and body. It approaches meditation as a lifestyle and explains how quieting the mind can create sincerity and clarity. “When spirit and energy merge into one, after a long period of close intimacy this produces great stabilization. This is called returning to the root and restoring life. When the root is deep, the stem is solid; this is the way of long life and eternal vision.”

Being yourself is not easy in a world constantly trying to twist us into its absurd and uninteresting ideals of perfection. We don’t need to be perfect. We don’t need to conform to the monotonous expectations of society. We don’t need to hide our eccentricity and we definitely do not need to fit into a dull and mundane mold. We only need to practice being honest until we become comfortable in our own skin and can walk through this world without apologizing for who we are. Don’t let the world strip you of your essence. Conformity creates an existence of confusion and misery. Speak your truth and live exactly as you choose. Your soul’s longings are your guide on this journey. Let them lead the way.

Solitude never felt lonely to me. It has always been a safe place I retreat when I want answers, clarity and truth. It strips away dogmas, prejudices, misconceptions and fears so I have the ability to make choices from a place of tranquility, strength and compassion. It reminds me of who I am and what I want. It gives me access to my deepest wounds so I can heal the heart and recognize my own needs. It offers insight into my innermost desires. It awakens wonder and creativity. It encourages me to stay curious and question everything. It empowers me to be my most authentic self. It grants me the courage to trust myself. It deciphers the mysteries I am ready to see. It inspires me to open my heart and welcome the gifts being offered to me. It takes me home…to myself, where love resides and truth is inevitable. In this place, I know one thing for certain: this breath I breathe is enough.

Don’t hide your gorgeous soul. Let your big, beautiful, tender heart shine so all the other big-hearted, kindred spirits in the world will find you. You have work to do, mountains to climb, rivers to cross and you need your tribe to lift you up, cheer you on, listen to you, hold your hand, speak the truth, laugh with you, embark on adventures with you, inspire you to be your best, stay with you during your darkest moments, encourage your growth and ALWAYS love you with fierce devotion. The wild heart does not need to be tamed, only expressed…over and over and over again.

Don’t spend your precious energy trying to be like everyone else. Relax into your essence and let your gorgeous soul be seen by those who look at you with the eyes of the heart. Your extraordinary spirit radiates a beauty only you possess. Celebrate your offbeat, fantastical nature and surround yourself with people who love you straightforwardly, deeply, openly JUST AS YOU ARE. You are strange and wonderful and bizarre and beautiful and let NOTHING convince you otherwise. Your flaws are utter perfection.

Step into the world and lead your life exactly as you choose. You did not come here to follow the path that has been paved. You did not come here to hide your beauty or quell your talents. You did not come here to play small or conform to a mold not fit for your loveliness. You came here to unearth your purpose. You came here to exist in your truth and walk this earth with grace and courage. Stand tall and pay no mind to the opinions of others. Do what makes your soul ecstatic and be done with everything else. The universe awaits your arrival with gifts more magnificent than you’ve ever dreamed.